Levinisms http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm Sun, 16 Jan 2011 09:26:00 GMT http://bandzoogle.com test 2 http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=703046 the white balloon the white balloon
]]> Sun, 16 Jan 2011 09:26:00 GMT 842BD62DF8DDAB33E61956E857ED4F08 test http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=702988 the red balloon the red balloon
]]> Sun, 16 Jan 2011 09:23:00 GMT EF083AA155F387F3C7AE3D1ED719B6F9 PUBLISHED WORKS* http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=360613 <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> Sheet Music for Piano <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> Title <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> Publisher <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Autumn<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Boston Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Intermezzo in B Minor<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Willis Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Intermezzo in D<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Schaum Pub.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Last Day of School<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Boston Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Little Waltz for Left Hand<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Willis Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Mountain Melody<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Schaum Pub<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->The Mischief Makers<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Willis Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Music Box Lullaby<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Schaum Pub.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Romance<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Schaum Pub.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Spanish Serenade<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Willis Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Summer Nocturne<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Schaum Pub.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Sunset Serenade<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Schaum Pub<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Twilight Reverie<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Willis Music.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Under Winter Stars<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Schaum Pub.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Woodland Idyll<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Willis Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> Published Fake Books <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Chord Classics ( A Classical Music Fake Book with 114 titles )<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Mel Bay<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Mel Bay&rsquo;s Complete Traditional Holiday Season Fake Book (200 titles)<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Mel Bay<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> MAJOR PIANO WORKS IN ADDITION TO PUBLISHED WORKS LISTED ABOVE <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> &nbsp; <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->From the <a href="/recordings.htm">Morning to Midnight CD, works composed between 1975 and 2002:<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->From the<a href="/recordings.htm">San Francisco Souvenirs<a href="/recordings.htm"> CD, works composed between 1975 and 2005:<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Morning Song<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Pier 39 Rag<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Lunch Break<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->The Golden Gate to the Sea<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Afternoon Doldrums<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Cocktails Atop of the Hyatt<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Twilight Aria<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Third Street Blues<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Midnight Nocturne<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Comedy in the Park<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Passion<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->For Axel<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Taraval Street Rag<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->At the Columbarium<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->A Sunny Stroll Through Stern Grove<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->The West Portal Street Fair<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->McCoppin Square<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Bay to Breakers<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Sunset Streetlights<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->May in the Mission<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Ocean Beach, Three AM<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->The Stately Victorians of Pacific Heights<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Summer Fog<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->The Russians of the Richmond<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Summer&rsquo;s End<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Mega-Hit at the Metreon<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Arctic Winter<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->A Farewell for Rosa<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Arctic Spring<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Kites on the Marina Green<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Prairie Homecoming<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->The Windmills of Golden Gate Park<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->For Maureen<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->At the Conservatory of Music<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Prelude in Blue<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->North Beach Nights<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->For Zadie Glatt<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Saturday Night at the Opera<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Song for Smokey<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Melody in C for Glen Lee<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Misty Memories<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->The Black and White Ball<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Postlude<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Irving Street Rhapsody<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Lullaby for Kevin<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Bay Sailboats<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->For Dusty<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Party Time in SoMa<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->&nbsp;<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> OTHER UNPUBLISHED WORKS <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> Title <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> Detail <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Theme and 32 Variations in A Major for Piano<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->An early work composed in the mid 1970s<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->In Memoriam for Cello and Piano<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Originally composed in 1973 for Viola and Piano<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Music for Piano, Clarinet, Marimba and Percussion<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->An atonal, student work composed at the San Francisco Conservatory<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Classical Fantasy for Piano<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->First completed work<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Concert Waltz for Piano<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->An early work composed in memory of a dear friend.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Over 100 Songs <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Composed between 1970 and 1989 with various lyric writers; most available only in lead sheet form.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Dozens of arrangements <!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Popular songs and edited works of amateur musicians.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->It Only Takes Two<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->An hour long mini musical with lyrics and script by Dennis Goza.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Never A White Christmas<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->A San Francisco Christmas musical review of original songs, and skits by Dennis Goza.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Saint Nicholas&rsquo;s Bag<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->A children&rsquo;s musical play with script by Jack Boas employing traditional Dutch Saint Nicholas Songs.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Several Arrangements<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Of traditional French Canadian Songs collected by Alice Latremouille.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Many more songs<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme-->Composed with Dennis Goza for his family&rsquo;s traveling children&rsquo;s theatre, Activated Storytellers.<!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--> <!--mstheme--> * N.B. I have never assigned opus numbers to my works since I usually revise them frequently over the years and consequently opus numbers would not be especially meaningful. <!--mstheme-->


Sheet Music for Piano

Title

Publisher
Autumn Boston Music
Intermezzo in B Minor Willis Music
Intermezzo in D Schaum Pub.
Last Day of School Boston Music
Little Waltz for Left Hand Willis Music
Mountain Melody Schaum Pub
The Mischief Makers Willis Music
Music Box Lullaby Schaum Pub.
Romance Schaum Pub.
Spanish Serenade Willis Music
Summer Nocturne Schaum Pub.
Sunset Serenade Schaum Pub
Twilight Reverie Willis Music.
Under Winter Stars Schaum Pub.
Woodland Idyll Willis Music
   

Published Fake Books
Chord Classics ( A Classical Music Fake Book with 114 titles ) Mel Bay
Mel Bay’s Complete Traditional Holiday Season Fake Book (200 titles) Mel Bay
   

MAJOR PIANO WORKS IN ADDITION TO PUBLISHED WORKS LISTED ABOVE

 

  
From the Morning to Midnight CD, works composed between 1975 and 2002: From theSan Francisco Souvenirs CD, works composed between 1975 and 2005:
Morning Song Pier 39 Rag
Lunch Break The Golden Gate to the Sea
Afternoon Doldrums Cocktails Atop of the Hyatt
Twilight Aria Third Street Blues
Midnight Nocturne Comedy in the Park
Passion For Axel
Taraval Street Rag At the Columbarium
A Sunny Stroll Through Stern Grove The West Portal Street Fair
McCoppin Square Bay to Breakers
Sunset Streetlights May in the Mission
Ocean Beach, Three AM The Stately Victorians of Pacific Heights
Summer Fog The Russians of the Richmond
Summer’s End Mega-Hit at the Metreon
Arctic Winter A Farewell for Rosa
Arctic Spring Kites on the Marina Green
Prairie Homecoming The Windmills of Golden Gate Park
For Maureen At the Conservatory of Music
Prelude in Blue North Beach Nights
For Zadie Glatt Saturday Night at the Opera
Song for Smokey Melody in C for Glen Lee
Misty Memories The Black and White Ball
Postlude Irving Street Rhapsody
  Lullaby for Kevin
  Bay Sailboats
  For Dusty
  Party Time in SoMa
   

OTHER UNPUBLISHED WORKS

Title

Detail
Theme and 32 Variations in A Major for Piano An early work composed in the mid 1970s
In Memoriam for Cello and Piano Originally composed in 1973 for Viola and Piano
Music for Piano, Clarinet, Marimba and Percussion An atonal, student work composed at the San Francisco Conservatory
Classical Fantasy for Piano First completed work
Concert Waltz for Piano An early work composed in memory of a dear friend.
Over 100 Songs Composed between 1970 and 1989 with various lyric writers; most available only in lead sheet form.
Dozens of arrangements Popular songs and edited works of amateur musicians.
It Only Takes Two An hour long mini musical with lyrics and script by Dennis Goza.
Never A White Christmas A San Francisco Christmas musical review of original songs, and skits by Dennis Goza.
Saint Nicholas’s Bag A children’s musical play with script by Jack Boas employing traditional Dutch Saint Nicholas Songs.
Several Arrangements Of traditional French Canadian Songs collected by Alice Latremouille.
Many more songs Composed with Dennis Goza for his family’s traveling children’s theatre, Activated Storytellers.

* N.B. I have never assigned opus numbers to my works since I usually revise them frequently over the years and consequently opus numbers would not be especially meaningful.
]]> Sun, 18 Jul 2010 09:40:00 GMT B78ABEF0F011381D1BFD4F7292A223EA Practising Hints http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=345043 There are prodigies who can sit down at the piano and learn effortlessly, but most students must practice diligently to play well. Often students frustrate themselves by trying to do too much at once. Attempting to handle notes, fingering, timing, and expression in both hands at the same time can be overwhelming. However, by dividing the practicing process into a number of manageable sub-steps, you can progress more readily with a minimum of frustration. Below is a method I've found most effective in accomplishing this end. First divide the piece into practice sections, following as much as possible the phrasing and natural breaks in the music. If the music is relatively easy for you, these sections may be eight or sixteen bars long. If the music is particularly difficult, two or four bar sections may be more appropriate. Begin in the first section with the right hand. Play the notes firmly, with the correct fingering. If fingering is not provided, write it in if necessary to guarantee you use the same fingering each time, since learning is facilitated by exact repetition. Don't rush. Pick a tempo that enables you to play comfortably and accurately. Remember if you play a note wrong once, you'll tend to make the same mistake again.. Repeat the notes in the section until you can play them effortlessly and without stumbling. Saying the notes out loud as you play tends to increase concentration and speeds learning. Once you have mastered the notes and fingering, go over the section again, focusing on playing in time. Repeat the section several times until you can play it correctly. Then go on to the next and succeeding sections, treating each in the same way until you finish the piece. This is concentrated work. You may want to stretch this process out over several practice sessions, if as you tire, you begin to make careless mistakes. Treat the left hand in a similar fashion. Don't attempt to put the hands together until you can play each independently, comfortably and in time. Practice sections should again be employed in putting the hands together. It is often helpful to play alternately the the right and left hand parts several times independently before attempting to coordinate them. Counting at this stage is essential to ensure that the parts come together correctly. It's also important to repeat the section several times once the hands are together to consolidate the learning and ensure that there will be a minimum of &quot;learning loss&quot; between practice sessions. This frustrating but common phenomenon can be reduced by maintaining a frequent practice schedule. Pieces should be taken up to tempo very gradually; rushing the process leads to mistakes that are easily learned and difficult to correct. Finally, focus on dynamics, phrasing and other performance details to achieve a polished effect. Sometimes, in spite of careful practice, you may find yourself stumbling at a certain point in the music. If you examine the situation, you'll usually find you're making the same mistake each time- like forgetting to play a sharp, putting one in that's not there, missing fingering, or playing a phrase consistently out of time. I've found the best way to deal with such trouble spots is first to identify exactly what you are doing wrong. Then go carefully over the bar or phrase containing the trouble spot several times, reminding yourself as you approach it exactly what you must do to correct the problem, such as &quot;play G not A&quot; or &quot;count two not three&quot;. As you follow this procedure, you'll tend to memorize the correct version and transform it into one of the securest parts of your performance. To play convincingly, the performer must get beyond the notes and attempt to convey the spirit of the music. In doing so, several factors should be considered: the work's title, tempo, and expression markings; knowledge of the composer's life, times and the performance practices of the day; and most importantly, the performer's own imagination. Imagining dancers will make your waltz more life-like, as thinking of a loved one will render a love song more convincing. The more knowledge and imagination you can bring to a performance, the more effective and communicative will be your style.
First divide the piece into practice sections, following as much as possible the phrasing and natural breaks in the music. If the music is relatively easy for you, these sections may be eight or sixteen bars long. If the music is particularly difficult, two or four bar sections may be more appropriate.

Begin in the first section with the right hand. Play the notes firmly, with the correct fingering. If fingering is not provided, write it in if necessary to guarantee you use the same fingering each time, since learning is facilitated by exact repetition.

Don't rush. Pick a tempo that enables you to play comfortably and accurately. Remember if you play a note wrong once, you'll tend to make the same mistake again.. Repeat the notes in the section until you can play them effortlessly and without stumbling. Saying the notes out loud as you play tends to increase concentration and speeds learning.

Once you have mastered the notes and fingering, go over the section again, focusing on playing in time. Repeat the section several times until you can play it correctly. Then go on to the next and succeeding sections, treating each in the same way until you finish the piece. This is concentrated work. You may want to stretch this process out over several practice sessions, if as you tire, you begin to make careless mistakes.

Treat the left hand in a similar fashion.

Don't attempt to put the hands together until you can play each independently, comfortably and in time. Practice sections should again be employed in putting the hands together. It is often helpful to play alternately the the right and left hand parts several times independently before attempting to coordinate them. Counting at this stage is essential to ensure that the parts come together correctly. It's also important to repeat the section several times once the hands are together to consolidate the learning and ensure that there will be a minimum of "learning loss" between practice sessions. This frustrating but common phenomenon can be reduced by maintaining a frequent practice schedule.

Pieces should be taken up to tempo very gradually; rushing the process leads to mistakes that are easily learned and difficult to correct.

Finally, focus on dynamics, phrasing and other performance details to achieve a polished effect.

Sometimes, in spite of careful practice, you may find yourself stumbling at a certain point in the music. If you examine the situation, you'll usually find you're making the same mistake each time- like forgetting to play a sharp, putting one in that's not there, missing fingering, or playing a phrase consistently out of time. I've found the best way to deal with such trouble spots is first to identify exactly what you are doing wrong. Then go carefully over the bar or phrase containing the trouble spot several times, reminding yourself as you approach it exactly what you must do to correct the problem, such as "play G not A" or "count two not three". As you follow this procedure, you'll tend to memorize the correct version and transform it into one of the securest parts of your performance.

To play convincingly, the performer must get beyond the notes and attempt to convey the spirit of the music. In doing so, several factors should be considered: the work's title, tempo, and expression markings; knowledge of the composer's life, times and the performance practices of the day; and most importantly, the performer's own imagination. Imagining dancers will make your waltz more life-like, as thinking of a loved one will render a love song more convincing. The more knowledge and imagination you can bring to a performance, the more effective and communicative will be your style.
]]> Mon, 05 Jul 2010 05:07:17 GMT D972B565D0D1EDACA058E191343A440D Whimsical Sculptures http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=345100 Mouse Faced Muse<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t8dhFjHzI/AAAAAAAAADE/ln8McmiFKB8/s1600-h/Mouse+Faced+Muse.jpg">Moon Faced Muse<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t8dIJeXMI/AAAAAAAAAC8/DTsHCnVJB2E/s1600-h/Moon+Muse.jpg">Laughing Muse<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t8cs6KlOI/AAAAAAAAAC0/hbKsfR8uA9c/s1600-h/Laughing+Muse.jpg">Laughing Lizard<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t8b3isN3I/AAAAAAAAACs/mjYbQu0GLvs/s1600-h/Laughing+Lizard.jpg">Laughing Lizard 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t8bfHE2fI/AAAAAAAAACk/lG2g3xlWscQ/s1600-h/Laughing+Lizard2.jpg"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t354V0riI/AAAAAAAAACE/mwp7W1Mt7Bo/s1600-h/Mouse+Faced+Muse.jpg">
Mouse Faced Muse

Moon Faced Muse


Laughing Muse



Laughing Lizard


Laughing Lizard 2



]]> Mon, 01 Mar 2010 14:07:00 GMT 4D05E1F0B2A5F4514C36CCB368A84EE5 Whimsicals http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=345101 Frog<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t1ANMKuOI/AAAAAAAAABc/yvb-Zdo_zTw/s1600-h/Frog.jpg">Fox Head<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t0_iBj56I/AAAAAAAAABU/IFvGYT1ZkiU/s1600-h/Fox+Head.jpg">Eared Snake<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t0_G-xDBI/AAAAAAAAABM/5smpLRUOuaw/s1600-h/Eared+Snake.jpg">Eagle<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t09_xFaaI/AAAAAAAAABE/YFwLBR6IYXs/s1600-h/Eagle.jpg">Bear<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/S4t080LU8vI/AAAAAAAAAA8/1OHiMnd7AOM/s1600-h/Bear.jpg"> Frog

Fox Head


Eared Snake


Eagle


Bear



]]> Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:57:00 GMT 420456E29C837957D4670379104CB71F New Levinisms Frank-ly speaking http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=345102 <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_AyBP3jFClKI/SwDl06LgKtI/AAAAAAAAAAw/4BuN_mK9we0/s1600/Tuxedo_Frank.jpg">Q: What is better than to rise and shine?A: Rise and reflect Q:What's the appeal of bicycling?A: Its wheel-y fun Q: How must you behave in a swimming pool?A: Pool-itely
Q: What is better than to rise and shine?
A: Rise and reflect

Q:What's the appeal of bicycling?
A: Its wheel-y fun

Q: How must you behave in a swimming pool?
A: Pool-itely

]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:29:00 GMT 956264578E1666335294B4A1FAAA8F69 Here are a few original Levinisms to introduce myself... http://relaxationx3.com/blog.cfm?feature=1548642&postid=345103 Q: Why are shopping malls dangerous?A: You can be mallested. Q: What can a slow Post Office line lead to?A: A stampede. Q: What adjective best describes an eagle?A: Talonted. Q:What must you avoid when buying rattan furniture?A: Being bamboozled. Q:What happens if you steal a pen?A: You get sent to penitentiary. Q: What happens if you steal a penny?A: You get sent to pennytentiary. Q: What do Chinese cooks do before preparing a meal?A: Go for a wok. Q: What is the pessimist's creed?A: In life you must learn to accept the bitter with the sour. Q: How does a motorist with a full load of passengers drive?A: Car-fully. Q: What do you say to someone who lost their dog?A: That's a dog gone shame. Q: What would you call a retreat on the moon?A: A moonastery. Q: How's your cat? A: Feline fine ( or, Feline not well ) Q: Why take an elevator?A: For an uplifting experience. Q: What do jockeys do?A: Horse around. A: You can be mallested.

Q: What can a slow Post Office line lead to?
A: A stampede.

Q: What adjective best describes an eagle?
A: Talonted.

Q:What must you avoid when buying rattan furniture?
A: Being bamboozled.

Q:What happens if you steal a pen?
A: You get sent to penitentiary.

Q: What happens if you steal a penny?
A: You get sent to pennytentiary.

Q: What do Chinese cooks do before preparing a meal?
A: Go for a wok.

Q: What is the pessimist's creed?
A: In life you must learn to accept the bitter with the sour.

Q: How does a motorist with a full load of passengers drive?
A: Car-fully.

Q: What do you say to someone who lost their dog?
A: That's a dog gone shame.

Q: What would you call a retreat on the moon?
A: A moonastery.

Q: How's your cat?
A: Feline fine ( or, Feline not well )

Q: Why take an elevator?
A: For an uplifting experience.

Q: What do jockeys do?
A: Horse around.
]]> Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:30:00 GMT D60F092A8957BD23F8B19A58DA937881